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Homeopathic Remedies For Breakups

(This article was written for World Homeopathy Awareness Week, 2010. It’s theme, Mental Wellbeing – Body and Mind in Balance, reflects true health. To find out more about International WHAW and presentations near you, click here.)

It’s a sad but unavoidable fact of life that most of us have to go through the breakup of a relationship at one time or another. Relationships end and when they do, it usually hurts. However, how we handle the pain differs greatly from person to person. The way we manage a breakup mostly depends on our emotional resilience and the way we have seen others do it before us.

Common, but not necessarily flattering responses include:

  • Weeping and sobbing
  • Hysteria
  • Irritability
  • Anger or violence
  • Seeking revenge
  • Losing confidence
  • Feeling humiliated
  • Feeling needy or dependent
  • Blaming ourselves or others
  • Wanting to be alone
  • Withdrawing behind an emotional wall
  • Depression and sadness
  • Dulling the pain with alcohol, food, or drugs

Most of these responses spring from the feelings of grief, loss and disappointment that follow a breakup. Some are less healthy than others but homeopathy brings perspective to relationship breakups so that negative emotions can be processed in a healthier manner. The right homeopathic remedy can help the affected person feel better, faster, and reduce the risk of their emotional trauma becoming a physical problem.

The following five remedies are frequently used by homeopaths to treat numerous physical and mental-emotional symptoms, but you can also use them to treat the symptoms that follow loss and separation. A link to instructions on how they should be used can be found at the end of the list.

Ignatia amara (Ign.) for Recent Breakups

Ignatia is the main remedy for acute grief or disappointment. Those who need Ignatia are emotionally sensitive, romantic, and idealistic. Grief or disappointment occurs when there is a mismatch between these idealistic expectations and reality. As a result, it is frequently needed by teenagers, especially girls, but it works equally well for males and those older when its symptoms are present. Behaviour can be hysterical or changeable. There may be indignation, anger, outbursts and recriminations. Crying in public will be avoided, preferring to wait until alone. Weeping can involve convulsive sobbing. There will be brooding and sighing and a lump may be felt in the throat. The heartbroken person may refuse to eat or threaten suicide if the relationship cannot be continued.

Think of Ignatia when: there is indignation, anger, sighing, sobbing, wanting to be alone.

Natrum muriaticum (Nat-m.) for Old Breakups

Nat-mur is the main remedy for the chronic effects of old and hidden grief. It is for relationship breakups from which the person has never recovered. This type of person keeps the pain to themselves, preferring to build an emotional wall around their heart to stop it being hurt again. They easily feel rejected and humiliated, want to be alone and have the reputation of being a loner. As a result, they seem closed or unfriendly though in reality they are very sensitive to the suffering of others. When they cry they cry alone because they hate being comforted or consoled – it will even make them angry. Crying may lead to deep sobs. Cold sores can be a common physical complaint and there may be either a strong craving or dislike for salt.

Think of Nat mur when: the person is reserved or depressed, suffers in silence, wants to be alone, craves or dislikes salt.

Phosphoric Acid (Ph-ac.) for Weakness and Lethargy

Those who need Phos-ac. become indifferent, apathetic or physically weak following a relationship breakdown. They want to be alone, their emotions become ‘frozen’ and they suffer in silence. They also lack energy, feel exhausted, and are prone to physical problems triggered by their grief. Refreshing things such as juices and fruit may be craved.

Think of Phos-ac when: the person becomes physically and emotionally feeble, not wanting to talk or be with company.

Pulsatilla pratensis (Puls.) for Feeling Unloved and Abandoned

Those who need Pulsatilla following a breakup feel abandoned and forsaken. They crave love and sympathy and are much better for having a shoulder to cry on. They love being comforted or consoled and will cry openly, gently and sweetly. Hugs and cuddles are appreciated and they don’t mind being dependent in their time of need – they just want to be looked after. Moods may be changeable and they are prone to jealousy or irritability if they don’t get the comfort they crave.

Think of Pulsatilla when: the person cries openly, craves and feels better for sympathy and physical affection, and is dependent and needy.

Staphysagria (Staph.) for Suppressed Anger

Staphysagria can be used for a breakup when the relationship involved physical or mental-emotional abuse. The person is often gentle, selfless and romantic but overly compliant and yielding. As a result, feelings of humiliation, mortification, and indignation are likely. Anger is suppressed though there may be the occasional explosive outburst during which the person may throw things. Stammering or shaking with emotion (especially anger) is common and common physical problems include styes and urinary tract infections.

Think of Staphysagria when: the relationship has been abusive and humiliating, the person is gentle and yielding, and anger is suppressed.

To learn how often and how long to use the above remedies for the negative emotions of a broken relationship, read How Often Should I Take a Dose of My Remedy

Moving On

Not every painful event of life can be avoided but that doesn’t mean we have to become stuck in the unpleasantness of them. Homeopathy can help us process what’s happened and move us through it in a healthy and timely manner. As well as being able to help us with our physical problems it can bring back emotional stability when life has knocked us sideways. If you are the sort of person who is ruled by your emotions, or feels ‘swamped’ when things go badly, don’t wallow – think of homeopathy.

Learning to Use Homeopathy

If you are interested in using homeopathy for the day to day complaints of friends, family and pets, take a look at the Understanding Homeopathy website where Fran Sheffield is now teaching homeopathy to online groups and participants. It’s an inexpensive an accessible way to learn.