It would be wonderful if we sailed effortlessly through all sorts of relationships, the good and the bad, and always lived happily ever after. But then, it wouldn’t be real life. Almost everyone suffers the heartbreak of a relationship ending unhappily. When we do it is normal to experience a rollercoaster of emotions such as:
- Weeping and sobbing
- Anger or violence
- Seeking revenge
- Losing confidence
- Feeling humiliated
- Feeling needy or dependent
- Blaming ourselves or others
- Wanting to be alone
- Withdrawing behind an emotional wall
- Depression and sadness
- Dulling the pain with alcohol, food, or drugs
Most of these responses spring from feelings of grief, loss and disappointment. Some are less healthy than others but homeopathy will bring perspective so those negative emotions can be processed in a healthier manner. The right homeopathic remedy will lead to faster recovery and reduce the risk of emotional trauma turning into a physical problem.
So, if the tears won’t stop, or you find yourself unable to face others – or you can’t rid yourself of the urge to throw a vase at your ex – there is a remedy to help you get back on an even keel!
The following five are frequently used by homeopaths for numerous physical and mental-emotional symptoms, including those arising from a relationship breakup – and you can use them too. Just choose the one that best matches your symptoms. A link to instructions on how homeopathic remedies should be used for acute problems, including emotional distress, can be found at the end of the list.
Ignatia amara (Ign.) for Recent Breakups
Ignatia is the main remedy for acute grief or disappointment. Those who need Ignatia are emotionally sensitive, romantic, and idealistic. Grief or disappointment occurs when there is a mismatch between these idealistic expectations and reality. As a result, it is frequently needed by teenagers, especially girls, but it works equally well for males and those older when its symptoms are present. Behaviour can be hysterical or changeable. There may be indignation, anger, outbursts and recriminations. Crying in public will be avoided, preferring to wait until alone. Weeping can involve convulsive sobbing. There will be brooding and sighing and a lump may be felt in the throat. The heartbroken person may refuse to eat or threaten suicide if the relationship cannot be continued.
Think of Ignatia when: there is indignation, anger, sighing, sobbing, wanting to be alone.
Natrum muriaticum (Nat-m.) for Old Breakups
Nat-mur is the main remedy for the chronic effects of old and hidden grief. It is for relationship breakups from which the person has never recovered. This type of person keeps the pain to themselves, preferring to build an emotional wall around their heart to stop it being hurt again. They easily feel rejected and humiliated, want to be alone and have the reputation of being a loner. As a result, they seem closed or unfriendly though in reality they are very sensitive to the suffering of others. When they cry they cry alone because they hate being comforted or consoled – it will even make them angry. Crying may lead to deep sobs. Cold sores can be a common physical complaint and there may be either a strong craving or dislike for salt.
Think of Nat mur when: the person is reserved or depressed, suffers in silence, wants to be alone, craves or dislikes salt.
Phosphoric Acid (Ph-ac.) for Weakness and Lethargy
Those who need Phos-ac. become indifferent, apathetic or physically weak following a relationship breakdown. They want to be alone, their emotions become ‘frozen’ and they suffer in silence. They also lack energy, feel exhausted, and are prone to physical problems triggered by their grief. Refreshing things such as juices and fruit may be craved.
Think of Phos-ac when: the person becomes physically and emotionally feeble, not wanting to talk or be with company.
Pulsatilla pratensis (Puls.) for Feeling Unloved and Abandoned
Those who need Pulsatilla following a breakup feel abandoned and forsaken. They crave love and sympathy and are much better for having a shoulder to cry on. They love being comforted or consoled and will cry openly, gently and sweetly. Hugs and cuddles are appreciated and they don’t mind being dependent in their time of need – they just want to be looked after. Moods may be changeable and they are prone to jealousy or irritability if they don’t get the comfort they crave.
Think of Pulsatilla when: the person cries openly, craves and feels better for sympathy and physical affection, and is dependent and needy.
Staphysagria (Staph.) for Suppressed Anger
Staphysagria can be used for a breakup when the relationship involved physical or mental-emotional abuse. The person is often gentle, selfless and romantic but overly compliant and yielding. As a result, feelings of humiliation, mortification, and indignation are likely. Anger is suppressed though there may be the occasional explosive outburst during which the person may throw things. Stammering or shaking with emotion (especially anger) is common and physical problems may include styes and urinary tract infections.
Think of Staphysagria when: the relationship has been abusive and humiliating, the person is gentle and yielding, and anger is suppressed.
To learn how often and how long to use the above remedies for the negative emotions of a broken relationship, read How Often Should I Take a Dose of My Remedy
Not every painful event of life can be avoided but that doesn’t mean we have to become stuck in their unpleasantness. Homeopathy can help us process what’s happened in a healthy and timely manner. If you are the sort of person who is ruled by your emotions, or feels ‘swamped’ when things go badly, don’t wallow – think of homeopathy.